Sorry guyz bout the absolutely *terrible* last post... i'm currently not in the mood 2 b even *remotely* entertaining... i'm just postin 4 the sake of updatin n i guess had an alrite weekend... til now but yea Pms sucks~ ;)
Goodnite ~

Long time no post~ <: ) sorry~~
but yea.. its sunday... just had a long day at work... lack of sleep + work = painful... :(
nothin 2 do.. just home n bored.. n its hot... n i think im getting my pms early or sth cos feeling kinda low atm... hmm....

Neways the show must go on~

Went clubbing on thurs n fri nite... thurs nite was the uni function held at sharkies... n FUCK ME DEAD i waited 4 fucken 2 hrs 2 get in~! i mean wat kinda dumb fucks sell more tickets then they can accomodate 4?? n after 2 hrs in the line~! the dude tries 2 kick us out~!! he puts his arm in front of me n says sorry clubs closed .. fuck that im goin in even if i gotta cause a riot 2 get my way... after abit of shovin by every1 he gave up n cut off the ppl behind me... ( unfortunately found out later that those ppl were linh~ <:) haha aiya~ )..
Finally got in n it was like a sauna up there... could almost swim in the solidfied B.O... it was warm n felt like breathing with a piece of tissue over ur nose n mouth...
but the music was good.. the rnb that is.. the dance sucked hard... n only had a few ppl there... the rnb played alotta my favourites so i was havin a mad time playin karaoke~ ;) hehe~
N omg~! spotted this nasty ass bitch~~ mustve been at LEAST 30 wearing nutin but her LINGERIE 2 dance ~!!! no fuckin joke.. u think "haha jims an drunken idiot n he's just imagining things again.." but Pat ( yea i've given up on changin names.. seems like no1 minds :D ) n Alicia saw 2~~

neways.. that nite was alrite.. music good.. but no group 2 dance wit.. fucken Ken the lil bastard ran off sumwhere.. n my other friend who sed'll she come bum... fark man saw her 4 like 2 mins then she ran off sumwhere... i suspect she's been sniffing paint again cos she was abit *too* happy when i saw her but okay~!

Friday nite went sublime 2 go clubbing.. but me n poof ( pat ) hurriedly n skolled ( scolled? kant speel pleese HALP ) a few bourbon cokes just b4 we left the house...
Got 2 da clubbed n Oh my fucking grandmother i was going off like a drunken monkey~!! i havent danced so much nor so retardedly ( wait that bits not tru ) in a LONG time~!!

I grinded a few diff guyz ass n even kissed sum dude i think lawrence whom i just met's cheek~! yay score~! :| :| :| I am not gay. just bi~ :D
haha o wellz.. had a fuckin mad time... phil n wilma looked bored shitless but HEY so wat else is new??

haii.. would've been a real good nite.. but just cept 4 1 lil tarnish... went with... Amex.. the girl i thought i was over... turns out.. im not... i've just found a way 2 bury it deep inside temporarily... gettin beta... but when 1 of her friends was chattin wit her n being really physical... felt a sharp pang n i had 2 turn around n dance facing every1 else.. it wasnt suss cos yea i kinda made it look like we were dancing in a circle.. but o wellz...

So much 4 gettin over things eh pat? sorry dude.. didnt keep up my end of the deal... but i will.. eventually...

In the meanwhile... bring on the ALCOHOL~!!
Cya kids n play nice~!!

HOORAY~!!! Conan fixed my blog with comments~!! Thanks again lor~~ i was seriously lost when i tried doin it myself..
Now 4 pictures... coming soon...

I was reading the paper 2day, n found this article about a 27 year old man in singapore who got fired from his government job n sentenced to 2 years in jail 4 receiving oral sex from his girlfriend.

What.
The.
Fuck.

In the land of forbidden bubble gum n ridiculous car prices... Oral sex is also illegal...
Yet another reason y i'll never go to singapore... :|

Ooee says my blog is fuhnee.
hooray 4 Ooee who came back from the dead~!
Hopefully Conan'll finish her bloody exams soon n help me with my comments n Ooee'll help me upload pictures~ :D~

I was born here in australia, n i've neva been 2 ne chinese school.. all my mandarin is taught by my quasi-retarded parents... no wait... they're just plain retarded.. no semi about it... n so now as a result i'm left with this fucked up mandarin.. n according 2 friends that can speak mandarin i have a vocabulary of a 5 yr old.. cos thats when i stopped learning... i say things like "little undies" instead of "underwear" etc etc...
Was talking 2 Crushed teddy earlier 2nite.. n she confessed she dont know alotta things 2... cos i dunno NE rude words or ne words 4 privates.. like i call tits "nei nei" n penis "ji ji".. which literally translated means "chicken chicken" ... but Teddy fessed that she refers 2 hers as "chien mien de pi guu"... which is "the front bum"~ AHAHAH~!! ;) ;) small things amuse me~ :)

Can ne of u out there that speak mandarin help us out~??
n additionally... is it just me or is there no good name 4 the pussy... like 4 guyz... theres dick.. which is fair nuff... but is it just me or does "pussy" sound derogatory? n vaginas just plain bad~ :|

I gotta get this comment thing up n running asap..
CONAN~! where r u~?!?! <:( i need ur help lor~~ save me~! :(

n ok on a totally irrelevant note... i dunno.. have u eva stumbled across a blog that is made by sum1 u know or kinda know..? but they havent actually told u about it..? i dont know.. im curious.. but dont dare read it until they actually tell me about it.. else it just feels... i dont know.. dirty...

i know u're thinkin wtf?? but it just feels like.. im peeping in2 their secrets without their consent.. n it feels.. wrong... :| :| :|

is it just me? with strangers i dont care.. cos yea i dont know them.. but i dunno..

Bleh~

Conan seems 2 really enjoy posting about periods n all the nastiness that is concerned in that business... n at those times... i just sit back n think how sweet it is 2 b a bloke~ muahahah~
i mean.. seriously.. in highschool.. during Health lessons... learning bout puberty n shit...

the teachers going on bout.. how... girls when they reach purberty they start getting the menstrual cycle, where they get a bloody discharge from their vaginas... i was like OMFG~!!!
n then he talked about the effects of puberty on us... n after he's done i was thinking... wow... so girls dribble out blood n garbage once a month n we dream of sex n cum in bed? Sounds like a pretty sweet deal 2 me~ :D
hehe~

N lemme ask u ppl out there~ male n female... do ne of u remember when u started getting pubic hair? No no no seriously hear me out...
Cos 4 me... they just kinda... *sprang* out ova nite or sumthin~~ cos i neva saw no fuzz, never saw ne stubbles... just early one innocent day peeing n yawning ( i remember this moment in great detail cos it was SHOCKING 4 me~! )... i look down.. n WTF?~!?!?!!?! A great big curly forest was down their strangling my penis~! I was in shock~! i had no idea wat was going on~! it scared n grossed the shit out of me~!! i ran outta the toilet half naked, squirting urine all the way 2 my bedroom, n attacked my crotch with a pair of scissors.

Yes... unfortunately... i actually shaved down their b4... :| haii.. 2 this day i cant believe i placed a pair of scissors so close 2 beloved Mr Winky... scary ne?

haii.. i highly advise against ne 1 2 shave or do nething down there...
( especially if u're a bloke.. thats just WRONG... naked salami? aiya~ If u're a dude NEVA remove ne of ur god given hair... only exception is if its *really* morbid like growing on ur tongue or sumthing... ) cos.. omg.. when it grows out again... the stubbles... FUCK ME DEAD They *ITCH* BEYOND ALL REASON~!!~!!! i was non stop scratching 4 like a whole months or sumthing~!!

O wellz.. thats enuf 4 2nite.. but on a final note...

Girl's g-spots feel like a lil kiwi fruit...
Guy's g-spots r located in their asshole...
...

WTF~?!?!?!?!?!??!
God has issues...

Omg i'm sooo loving cable internet... its like.. jesus... after 1 long... long week of no internet.. i felt as tho i was cut off from the outside world.. my link to society was cut n i had 2 ask my friends the next day wats been happening in case i was missing out on sum crazy shit thats been going just coincedentally when i'm disconnected~ :|

sad. yes. but tru~ :| which makes it even more sadder.
:|

Neewaays~~ I've finally moved in2 my new home... in west pennant hills.. n by gods does it SUCK~ haii.. i think it was just overrated when my mum was describing it 2 me... she kept saying out big it was... n ok.. mebbe.. technically... its not a small house... like average... but the architect had a screw loose... it was like he has a fear of open spaces or sum shit n so designed a series of tiny ass rooms 4 the whole house~!! that just defeats the whole purpose of having a large house~! OMG~! aiya.. pok gai ya~~~ only bonus is that i have a swimming pool..
even tho i dun really like swimming.. :|
Bleh.. i dont want 2 start ranting on the ordeal that moving was... its just.. haii... it'll piss me off just being reminded of the constant asian nagging n whining from both parents..

Tired now.. brain not functioning well.. got work 2molo... n drinking at nite cos cousin Dodo's 21st... so pplz... EXPECT SUM CALLS unless u fall in2 categories (a), (b) or (c)~!!!

O-yasuminasai~!!!

I AM BACK~!! GODDAMN DA CONCRETE MONKEY IS BACK AT LAST~!! Fucken after 1 long excruciating week of internet drought due 2 my move... I'm finally back online.... N WITH CABLE~! OMG~!! SWEET JEBUS it feels sooo good 2 b able 2 load up a page with more than 5 images without the computer going thru an epileptic fit... i swear... i dont know how i did it... n downloading... omg... downloading on a 28k modem is like shitting through a straw... u *can* do it... but goddamn u beta b patient beyond all reason... but just don't even *think* about huge chunks of... um... data...

Hai... n ignore that last post.. that was from Arch the dumb fuck... told him 2 post 4 me sayin that me offline n wat does he do? Fills up a chunk of my blog wit the same random, sporadic jibber that he has in his blog...
Haii.. the unfortunate thing about that boy is that unlike me where when i get drunk, its just a temporary thing; with him, he's basically tipsy all yr round... his little walnut brain just floats in excess alcohol which leaves in permanently intoxicated... n small attention span... come 2 think of it.. its probably heriditary cos Parrotgirl suffers from the same symptons.. :| eep..

o wellz.. as long as its not contagious... n at least they make interesting conversation from time 2 time...
U want funniness? talk about religion with a drunk... :)

Neways... i've been re-reading sum of my posts.. n fuck me dead sum of the shit that rolls outta my mouth just gives me goosebumps... its like... wtf was i on?? female hormone supplements??
*peers suspiciously into his "coffee"*
but yes... good ol alcohol.. n yea pat is rite.. we have been drinking a retarded lot lately... so if u get weird fone calls at ungodly hours of the nite... b nice n pick up n say hello~ <:) we're not asking 4 much~ <:)

If u *didnt* receive a fone call.. thats cos u're either:
(a) Shy
(b) Scary
-or-
(c) An asshole
:D yup no sugar coating here on this blog~ :D~~

...eh? where was i? Aah~~ the wonders of alcohol...
Alcohol is cleansing 2 both body n spirit...

My mind is washed of all problems i thought i had because now i just realise... fuck it.. life goes on.. if it wasnt meant 2 b it wasnt meant 2 b... not worth losing sleep over...

N my body is flushed of all impurities... vomiting til my stomachs empty, shitting out black seaweed n pissing til my urethra feels like its been passing acid...
Graphic details r fun ~ :) Same as unneccessary attention 2 detail~ :)

So yea.. dont worry... the concrete monkey is back again~! there shouldn't b another outburst like a love sick schoolgirl, cos he found his furry balls again~! they were under my bed... haha dun worry.. they not really that fuzzy... most of it's mould... :)

neways.. enuf ranting 4 now.. i'll post again later on..... goddamn sweet sweet cable~~ *drools.. out of every hole on his body...*
So come back soon pplz~!!
... i know... u're thinking... sif ne1 else is reading this shit~~!! but... i know u're out there... i can hear u breathing... u're all secretly fascinated by the workings of my 3 amigos... my last... precious 3 surviving braincells.. the 1s that survived the great vodka holocaust of 2002...
so yea.. i sed it b4 n i'll say it again... there may only b 3 left but they're good ones~!!

BAI BAI~!!!

:D

HELLO EVERYONE~!! I AM JIMBO THE WONDERFUL DANCING MONKEY~ AND I NEED SEX.
now back to reality . . . i have hacked (cough) into this account on the basis that our good friend jim here hasnt posted a blog in days!! DAYS!!! this from a dedicated blogger, i came to the rescue to keep all his friends entertained. im not telling him i posted in here till he finds out. . . so lets see. . . wat can i spill out? i sure hope some read this before he realsies wat i have done. :) oh we got drunk on saturday nite. and we made some random calls. it felt kinda funny at the time to wake people up and now that i think of it, I WOULD DO IT AGAIN! :p so all those that recieved phone calls, expect mroe! and those that didnt . . . we forgot u. only cause we were drunk. . . we dont hate u. and since conan got a whopping 29 miss calls, she will have receive another 29 DAYS of nite calls to pay us back for missing out on an interesting conversation.
oh yes, i have come to the conclusion that jimmy needs a new gf. so those that would like to apply to be a gf, plz send ur emails to me at garfield_patch@hotmail.com.
if u are eligible to be a gf, u will b mine. those that dont, u can have jim. :D NOW HURRY UP AND EMAIL!!1 I EXPECT TO GET SOME PRETTY INTERESTIN EMAILS THX!
IM WAITING FOR UR EMAIL!!!
that may seem kinda desperate. . . . . but it is. newayz. im doin it all for jim. yep . its him thats desperate. just jimmy.

I R DUDDITS!!! LETS HOPE U ARNT DUDDITS!!!!

blogging off, this is mr . . . ummm . . . sexy. yes. mr sexy. i really am. really.

Testing comments thingy... tryin 2 get it 2 work.. bloody conan wont help me~ >:(
Goddamn i hate html~
CONAN PLZ HALP ME~!!! :~(

Summer smells brings memories of Lisa back 2 monkeyboy...
Just the warmth of the sun, the fresh smell of the air... even the smell of my air freshner in my car, now working again cos the summer heat is melting it... reminds me of her... even a few cds in my collection trigger memories 2...

mebbe its due 2 loneliness... but now looking back.. i'm filled with regret... i dont know.. at the time i thought it was 4 the best.. mebbe i'm wrong... i'm probably wrong i know that now... but i ended it because i thought that, at the time... it was inevitable... we were always argueing over petty issues, n we were both after different things in a relationship... i thought at the time, the more we stay together, the more painful it'll b later on if we break up... She told me she wanted 2 break up 4 awhile... see how things go... so i decided... since she wants 2.. then mebbe if we break up now while we both thinking bout it then it'll b less painful..

I dunno.. it hurts now.. cos... now she wants nothing 2 do with me... n at times mebbe even resents me... but i really... *really* wished we could remain good friends... but it seems like thats the last thing she wants... i've tried many times n made many attempts at being friends...but she just gives me the cold shoulder... n it hurts cos.. even tho im over her now... but when we broke up i still truly, deeply loved her... i just thought it'll b 4 the best this way... i really did...

Haii.. this had nothin 2 do with nething... n im just rambling... as usual.... i know its wrong 2 b thinking of her.. cos it just stems from loneliness.. n thats wrong.. but... just.. the scent of summer... reminds me of her sweet little kisses...

Had 2 chances at love... n i blew both of them... n both times... i look back with *deep* regret... mebbe theres sumthing wrong with me... i think i'm just being childish... looking 4 perfection.. when it doesnt exist....

Goddamn 1 last thing~!!
Girls~! Fucken hell~! 1 perfect example.... long term relationships... sooo many times have i seen the girl just suddenly get bored in the relationship afterawhile... that the drama is gone... they're not content with a guy who loves them more than nething else in the world, whos loyal, always there n dependable... because its *boring*...

What.
the.
fuck?

How cruel is that~!? conclusion: Girls r bitches... damn straight...
cant live with them... cant live without them..

God has a sick sense of humour...

Aiya~~
1 thing i neva understand about girls... y is it that... they have this theory that they'll neva go out with friends..?

I think its cos... girls r idiots. yea... that sounds bout rite...
nah i think its cos.. girls like drama n excitement in their lives.. thats y they pick assholes 4 bfs... cos they like the little thrill of not knowing what he gonna do next... the risk that she mite get dumped ne time...
Girls like that... they like the mystery n excitement that comes with sum1 new...

I dont get it... like isn't it beta... 2 b friends first..? 2 know each other abit beta first..? that way... u know what the other person is like.. u know if u get along or not...

Friends tell me y not go try 2 talk 2 girls in like bars, cafes, clubs etc etc... well 4 the bars n clubs i just feel really dirty n sleazy... i feel like alot of the dickheads that wander around in da nite tryin 2 score.. so i dont do it.. but other times... its cos... they're strangers...
i mean.. yea she mite b really pretty but she mite b a very bitter n selfish person...

In an ideal situation i want 2 become really good friends b4 i do nething... cos at that point then i know if that girl is the one 4 me or not... I have no interests in starting a relationship that i know mite not last, 4 1 reason or another....

i dont know.. it just doesnt feel rite... i feel that if u think that person isnt the one... then... y r u wasting her time..? i dont know.. hard 2 explain...

Ppl gloat bout how many girls they been with... n i just dont understand... yea alrite.. big man~! u fucked 17 chicks within 14 days... wat do u have at the end 2 show 4 it...? nothing...

haii... i hope i havent lost u in my ramblings... its just i dont know how 2 really express how i really feel... damn limited vocabulary~!!

Girls say that they don't want 2 risk their friendship by doing nething... but isn't worth it? If that person mite b the one..? n its bullshit that u'll ruin the friendship.. u can always b friends again... its a little awkward in the beginning but after awhile its fine....

*sigh*
Blah... my 3 lil braincells r'nt workin as well 2nite... i think i OD'ed on anime... :| an epileptic fit is coming soon i can feel it...
*nervous twitch*
fasle alarm... o wellz... me post sumthin laters~~
Bai bai~

Was just sitting round picking my nose 2day, when suddenly i was struck by a stoke of genius...

New theory numba one:
I don't rejected cos i'm a fugly ( fuckin ugly ) sonofabitch that resembles a chimpanzee with down syndrome... I get rejected cos girls are afraid.. scared at the slim risk that they mite actually fall for a monkey...

neways... i watched close 2 10 hrs of anime 2day... Inuyasha ( i dunno how 2 spell )...
I believe this is a cry 4 help... 4 those out there that care...
*crickets chirping*
... fuck u all...

Okaaaay~~~ got sum explainin 2 do...
yea that last post was abit melodramatic ( understatement ) n not 2 mention creepy~ :| :| :|
Aiya... o wellz... when i start rambling it all rolls forth like tidal wave of garbage n even i'm not aware of what im gonna type next until i finish the damn thing n read back...
mebbe i should start actually reading this damn thing... :|

Testing comment thingy that conan gave me.. so yea..

Goddamn... i think... its over... its finally over...

I dont know how it happened... no bloody idea... seemingly out of the blue... but... i seemed 2 have fell 4 sum1 i barely knew... n she knows even less about me~! It was painful... surprisingly painful... suffering quietly inside... for bout 4 months now... always depressed n feeling like a lil bitch... Many time asked wtfs wrong wit me... i dont even know her.. but.. reason n logic does not matter 2 emotions...

Asked a friend 4 advice... she told me that... 4 my own good.. its probably not a good idea 2 try nething...
I was shattered. When i heard that... the world just faded away 4 a few mins... like i was suddenly submerged in water...
i was devastated... after i hung up... i just curled up in the blankets 4 what seemed 2 b eternity... n then went n got my Jim beam n proceeded 2 drain the bottle...
Good ol Jim beam... good friend thats always there n always reliable... takes away the pain n brings numbness 2 mind n body...

Dont want 2 reveal how much i felt 4 her as much as i really want 2... cos.. yea.. not good idea methinks...

thankgod i had a fellow friend in arms feeling down as well... which lead 2 a many drinking nites~ :) kinda scary... 2 lonely, sad guyz.. drinking by themselves.. couped up in a small room... al nite... :| Kinda scary? more like kinda homosexual...
Ack~!

O wellz.. 2day... i realise... after a day of doin nothing in particular ( actually got paid out quite alot 2day by ppl i don't barely know~ :| ), after dinner i realise... everythings ok... everythings sweet n i'm fuckin happy... in a way i havent been in way 2 long... i was content... even tho nothing changed... I dont know if its a temporary thing or what... but... hooray 4 me~!

After 4 long, painful months... I am finally
Free.

If ne of u's live in da ct, Kensington, Kingsford, Maroubra or similar... r u interested in a new flatmate? :D I'm a relatively clean, good natured n friendly guy.. if u like pets u'll like me... n if u love alcohol... u'll goddamn LOVE me~~!!
Think of me as an overgrown chimpanzee.. that way u'll come 2 accept my feeding habits n especially the smell~ :)

I need outta my house.. bad... cannot... take... the... constant... nagging NEMORE~!! There is nothing worse than the constant nagging of an fat 40 yr old asian woman.. really.. there isnt.. i swear 2 god... my mum can get a job wit da FBI no sweat... ne terrorists or suspects.. just lock em in a room wit my mum n by 1 hr... he'll spill nething just 2 get out no joke.. its that bad i swear...
But i dunno.. its hard.. i gotta find 2 jobs just 2 b able 2 support myself... n also... i dunno how 2 cook, clean, or dress myself... so it gunna b fun!!! :D
nah main concern is that.... no matter how much of an asshole my parents r... i'm still reluctant 2 move out without their consent... yes.. guilt is a terrible thing.. my conscience is a curse...

So yea.. i've succeeded in convincing my dad... nah scrub that.. the shitty old man fuckin *wants* me out!! but my mum, hai... i dun wanna move out knowing that i made her sad or nutin.. which i think im doin just by talkin 2 her bout moving out... but she dont realise that part of the reason i want out is due 2 her brain-piercing nagging...
Hai... dont want 2 upset my mum by moving out... even tho she bitches 2 me 24/7... even tho shes a six yr old stuck in the body of a 46 yr old whale... even tho she hides glass in my food... :(

O wellz... i'll keep trying...

1 additional thing i 4got..
BOO PARROT~!! BOOOOOOO~!!!!! I'm meant 2 b drunk rite now~!!! Waste my friday nite~~ :( :~(
haii.. o wellz.... i'll just have 2 get xtra drunk 2molo 2 compensate~ :)
Clearly its not my drill my liver 2molo...

Just watched Pulp fiction 2day... n it was really good.. weird... but good..
I dont know how or y.. but... it sumhow just seemed really... realistic... yea i know shit explanation... but everything just seemed so natural... if u've seen the movie u're prolly thinking "Wtfs natural bout a big black dude gettin tied up n raped up the ass by a cop~?!?!", but i mean in... the dialogue just seem.. altho random n totally irrelevent 2 wats happening in the scene, just seems so natural n unscripted... which is rare cos in most films the characters r saying jibber that no1 eva says in real life..
Its rare in a film 2 watch a scene as tho u're peeping in2 the characters private life... rather than watching a movie...

bleh~ u're an idiot if u dont know what im goin on bout.. >:(

N Uma thurman hits the nail rite smack bang on the head when she says that u found someone really special when u dont have 2 say a bunch of bullshit just to fill the awkward silence...
i paraphrase~ :D
its hard 2 find sum1 where that silence isn't awkward one... but a content one...