Goddamn... i think... its over... its finally over...

I dont know how it happened... no bloody idea... seemingly out of the blue... but... i seemed 2 have fell 4 sum1 i barely knew... n she knows even less about me~! It was painful... surprisingly painful... suffering quietly inside... for bout 4 months now... always depressed n feeling like a lil bitch... Many time asked wtfs wrong wit me... i dont even know her.. but.. reason n logic does not matter 2 emotions...

Asked a friend 4 advice... she told me that... 4 my own good.. its probably not a good idea 2 try nething...
I was shattered. When i heard that... the world just faded away 4 a few mins... like i was suddenly submerged in water...
i was devastated... after i hung up... i just curled up in the blankets 4 what seemed 2 b eternity... n then went n got my Jim beam n proceeded 2 drain the bottle...
Good ol Jim beam... good friend thats always there n always reliable... takes away the pain n brings numbness 2 mind n body...

Dont want 2 reveal how much i felt 4 her as much as i really want 2... cos.. yea.. not good idea methinks...

thankgod i had a fellow friend in arms feeling down as well... which lead 2 a many drinking nites~ :) kinda scary... 2 lonely, sad guyz.. drinking by themselves.. couped up in a small room... al nite... :| Kinda scary? more like kinda homosexual...
Ack~!

O wellz.. 2day... i realise... after a day of doin nothing in particular ( actually got paid out quite alot 2day by ppl i don't barely know~ :| ), after dinner i realise... everythings ok... everythings sweet n i'm fuckin happy... in a way i havent been in way 2 long... i was content... even tho nothing changed... I dont know if its a temporary thing or what... but... hooray 4 me~!

After 4 long, painful months... I am finally
Free.