Finding out more details about friday night, and seems like its one of those nights again. Those nights where the next day you think you're alright, but then get told later by friends that you made out with your shoe.

Finding out more and more details about friday night... and its getting scary how much I don't remember. Sometimes you get abso-fucking-lutely demolished. So gone you know and regret it the next few days. But times like last friday are scary because you think you were fine, until people start informing you of the missing gaps.

So far so good. Nothing too bad, well not compared to what I've been up to in the past, but still the suspense is there.
The feeling is like something foreign has kidnapped your body for the night, and now you're investigating what it has been doing in your name.
When your friends think of new stuff you did, you always cringe and brace yourself for whats coming, especially if they get all excited about it.

"Oh oh oh~!!! And guess what else you did??!? *snicker*"

At that point I usually block my ears and bolt away screaming the smurf song.
It really is better not knowing.

-

Sometimes I hate befriending the people at the shops near where I work. Usually this means the coffee shop, local deli, and newsagency, the three staple stores I visit quite regularly during work. Its not that I'm anti-social... well... maybe it is. But I sometimes just can't be bothered with the little chit-chat you feel obligated to have. I just want my coffee/focaccia/ciggarettes dammit! Some grumpy days I gotta put up with:
"Hows Ming?"
"She dead."
"Oh thats nice. Hows Lily?"
It just feels so forced and I really hate shallow conversations. The same kind of chat you get at massive parties. And when you walk past each other during the day you have to say "Hi", which turns into a smile and a nod later on the day, and then by the 5th time you're outta ideas what to do. I'd imagine colleagues in a office go through the same thing, unless you're a spiteful bitch. Am I the only one that finds this tedious?

I guess its not that bad. But the worst part is when I decide to try something new, like buy my coffee at starbucks ( I know I know, it can barely be considered coffee, but I can get my paper for 50c extra, which makes me happy chappy ), I feel guilty and I don't let my regular coffee dude see me. I go to absurd lengths to hide the coffee, sometimes as far as to walk around the entire block just to avoid him. When I get lazy, I hide the coffee behind the newspaper, but he always glares at me knowingly. I feel like I cheated on him and I don't like it. At times I want to throw the newspaper away and fire back "SO?? You've been neglecting me~! Taking me for granted~! You don't use the spend the same time and effort with my coffee anymore~! You used to make it scaldingly hot, but now you don't even use fresh beans for me~!!"
My coffee dude is closing down in about June, for renovations, which gives me a chance to try someone new. My only concern is when he re-opens in about 2 months, do I go back to him? Or stick with my new coffee guy? Will I pass him and smile awkwardly like old lovers, or pretend I don't see him.
Oh the dilemmas of something as simple as my coffee.
Maybe I have too much time on my hands.
Either that or too much caffeine in my bloodstream.
I suspect both.

-

*Phew~* pretty busy weekend...
Friday night I ended up going to that party, and it was actually pretty sweet. The hosts were loaded so in the bar there were free food, free drinks, and free cigars. Score!
And it was set like the mafia gangsta style, tommy guns and top hats for the guys, feather scarves and long stemmed ciggarette holders for the girls, all provided for free of course.
Just being in that room I could literally *smell* money.
Either that or its shower time. *cue MC Hammer*
Free drinks were exploited of course, because I was getting dragged off to Subbies ( Pat bailed ), so me and Nat set ourselves a nice collection of drinks *just* before we were going to leave and then downed the few litres of grog.
Noice.
Also tried my first cigar. It was like inhaling ash. But just the sheer pleasure of puffing and sucking away on that fat chode was worth it. I felt like young money.

I thoroughly enjoyed subbies for the first time in a loooooong while.. which was surprising because I only went with Nat and Neil. Got introduced to some of Neil's friends later on and bumped into some people I know but it was mainly a small crowd, which makes it even weirder why I enjoyed it so much.
One memorable moment was when I was about to buy Nat a drink at the bar, but I see some guys rock up beside her. They say something to her, not sure what... so I don't buy the drinks yet and see what happens. Sure enough, they ended up buying her drinks. Second score~!!! Huzzah!

Saturday was Yooke's birthday, I slept away most of the day, and then rocked up for dinner at a restaurant that I only know as "The Spanish restaurant with the ship wheel thingy on the door". Was alright but I was too buggered to really enjoy the evening. Crashed early at Pat's ready for the early trek next day to Jamberoo.

Jameroo would've been much better if I went on the water rides, but was recovering from the green apple splatters so I didn't wanna risk it. The place is actually quite small, tiny even. And the tobogganing ( which Pat *still* can't pronounce, after 73 tries ), was half assed. I tried my best to crash but it was apparantly impossible, unless you literally leap off voluntarily.
*Sigh*

Had dinner at Pat's uncle place, Bbq. Food was great, and kinda just chilled afterwards because it seemed everyone had a big assignment or test the next day. Highlight was when Scott, Pat's aunt's boyfriend ( who by the way, I met for the first time ), was chatting with me about random goodness, he drags me to a computer ( just me :/ ) and shows me a picture of this weightlifter that literally, shitted his guts out.
What? Well not guts out, but he shitted part of his rectum out, as in, he had his sphincter unravelled outwards with part of his colon hanging out, like a used condom.
Yes luberly. And I will be seeing that image again later when I sleep.
Thanks Scotty. Appreciate it.

Peace out~!

-

Let me give all you vertically challenged people a friendly reminder:
Put your fucking umbrella down or move the side if you walk under shelter. Thankyou.
If I got a dollar for all the times I've nearly been impaled in the eye by idiots who leave their umbrellas up when walking on pathways, I'll be able to buy a gun. Can't they see me walking towards them? Can't they calculate that the arms of their umbrella directly in line with eyeball?? I'm always turning around a corner and being greeted by the menacing glint of an umbrella spike.

Feeling very blah and lazy right now. Might be dragged off to subbies. Haven't been there in months~! Jebus. I've almost gotten over the mirrored urinals already. Tonight I get to refresh my memory. Huzzah.
Wanting to go home after work ( I know its friday night but I'm gettin old ok? ), when I receive a phone call from Pat. Convo went something like this:
Pat: "So you coming tonight yea?"
Jim: *makes some non-commital grunts*
Pat: "Well, the party at Cruise bar has free drinks, and later we can get free entry into subbies."
Jim: "Alrite alrite I'll go I'll go..."

There you go. Lesson learned. If you want me to attend/do something painful, mention the word "free". Hell, just throw in the word "free" before you hang up.

Bunghole: "So yea just meet mine before six. Oh and yea, free."
10 minutes later at bunghole's place.
Me: "Free what now?"

-

Fucking quiet day at work today so spent all arvo researching wheels. Again. Chris is trying to sell me what I suspect are Lenso Algis rims... 20" ( yes I know... overkill but bling bling baby... ) with tyres included for $3200. Second hand. Fuck me sideways.
Hmm.. researching now if I should just buy bloody brand new for that price.. but damn websites, no one quotes prices anymore. They realised that if they don't list prices, it forces people to visit their store so they can jump them.
Shit thing is with me being north sider, and with Tempe Tyres out near Mascott, IS Motor Racing ( plug for Chris~ :P ) at Hurstville, and others down south near Cabra... Goddamn I gotta give Sydney a grand tour...
Not Happy.
*Sigh*.. The things I do for my baby.

-

Please. Stop. Using. LOL.
I think people are starting to become brainwashed by this instant plug-in. You see it spammed everywhere, in every sentence, even when its not neccessary at all.
"The funerals on monday lol"
And "lol" is not a reply.
Nor is ":)"
or ":D"
Or any other smiley. Do not expect a reply from me if you do this. Unless I want to get in your pants.

-

In "Before Sunset", Ethan Hawke says something along the lines of people generally don't that change much even when something life altering happens to them, such as winning the lottery or getting crippled in an accident. If that person was originally depressed, then he/she'll become a depressed millionaire. If that person was cheerful and happy, then they'll become a joyful cripple.
Thats the most depressing thought I've had in a long time. :/

I highly recommend "Before Sunset". Its not for those with ADD as it is 98.3% dialogue, but it paints a different picture of life, which is why I love these kind of movies, similar to "Sideways". Hollywood normally portrays a dream that reality seldom resembles. It kinda shows ( well to me anyways ) what could've been your life, if things happened differently. I just see too many people ( Asians are most guilty of this ) get married because of family background, or just simply cause they're getting old, not because of any particular desire to do so.

-

Stupid cousins. Bringing back old memories that were packed up and locked away.
I wish you could erase all the encounters you've had with a particular person, press a big red shiny button that just wipes the slate clean. Meet as strangers again.

-

Sometimes reading my previous posts gives me grave concerns for my masculinity. Man-gina here we come.
Kidding. First signs of ovary development will be countered by a trip to a strip bar.

I don't have any premeditated topics for each post except for a few random points I want to rant about, which results in the mess you see in most this blog. And because this has *slowly* turned from an anonymous blog into one that many of my friends visit, I'm still posting alot more personal shite than I really should, even though these thoughts have already been filtered for public viewing ( which is kinda disturbing :\ ). But I just want to let you kids out there know that.. Most blogs are full of crap. What I mean is, lots of trivial matters are blown out of proportion and lots of emotions are emphasised and exaggerated. Blogs are a place to rant and carry on like a little spoilt kid... because for some of us its a release... A way to get frustrating things off our chest by pouring every little stupid thought out of our heads. I'm not saying that I make things up for the hell of it, but simply, sometimes I'll make a big deal about something pez.
Just because I can.

Anyways~~~~
Did any of you bastards watch RoveLive the other night? Ohmybloodygrandmother what in gods holy name was Anna Nicole Smith on?!?? Jesus bloody Christ she was so LOST~!! How did they allow her to be interviewed in that condition??
At first it was kinda funny, because it was just so retarded. But then after awhile.. i dunno.. can't help feeling sorry for her. All these recent events that shes attended and all these scenes she's making. These are all cries for help, but instead, she gets even more invites than ever, in hopes of her antics creating publicity for the show/event. People laugh at her, calling her a washed up bimbo ( which she is VERY GUILTY of ), they laugh and feel better about themselves. But it just seems so sad that.. a person who is probably a depressive, wrecked with drugs, made a fool in front of the whole world... has no friends good enough to give her guidance and bitchslap her to the real world.
I guess in the end the publicists win. Because here I am, talking about RoveLive and Anna Nicole Smith, which was pretty much what they set out to achieve in the first place.
Gah.

hmm.. kinda forgot what I wanted to blog about... :/

Peace out.

This article was in todays Sydney Morning Herald Radar section:

"A man and a woman engaged in sex in Illinois, the man being careful not to have intercourse (unbeknown to the woman, he was married). However, during an oral sexual act in which he was arguably the receiver (more on that argument later), the woman secretly retained the man’s sperm and impregnated herself with it at some later time. Two years hence, she hit him with a DNA-supported paternity suit, the man counter suing for “theft” of his sperm. The court’s ruling?

"…when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift - an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee. There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.""

Its official.
Women just got scarier.
:/

Thanks for all the people that came to my sunday bbq, even thought the thick clouds were glaring over us threatening all day long, it turned out to be a nice cool dry day. I hope you all had a good time and enjoyed the food, and extra kudos to Tom, Chog and Jason, who I shirked the responsibility of cooking on to. :P
Side note: You peoples gonna have to learn to mingle more~! I'm not gonna hold your hand through it; go and socialise~!!
Anna, Michael and co. I'm talking about you guys~!!! Btw Anna, I am still reeling from the blow of finding out once and for all that you are, in fact taller than me. :O~
Jean, Alicia and Miyuki... I don't even know where you guyz were half the time, but thanks for coming on short notice anyways. Sorry for the mix up, I was disappointed the two sexy bootilicious James and Andy couldn't make it. Also shame to see that you girls still up there on the snobby factor~ :P Muahaha~

The boys.. haii... I just don't know anymore. I really don't believe in letting friendships go that easily, but its just becoming so... exhausting. Just seems so sad that those I once considered close friends.. that I thought I could rely on, degenerated to something like this. At times I feel that things have improved, but then some other days they revert back to their childish ways. Its come to the point that I feel that things can never go back to the way they were. More than that, if I try to play the peacemaker, it almost seems that they read that as me in a way grovelling back, which couldn't be furthur from the truth.
It seems more apparant to me now more than ever that, friends are... just a temporary situation. If you view them all as just people to hang with when you're bored, then its all the better for you. You won't have to wake up to the hard slap of reality that no matter how much you're concerned bout them when they're in need, don't expect the same courtesy in return.

Thats probably why I declared 2005 a year to be selfish. If you just focus on your needs and what you want, you won't be dissappointed by anyone. Nowadays I'm thinking those networking people were right all along, having a massive orgy of acquaintances to call upon rather than a small tight group of friends.

Or mebbe I just need a girlfriend to pour all my emotions and affection into.
Most probably that.
And if my theory of the more you invest the harder you fall is true, then expect to see my mug splashed on news fronts across the nation if I ever get dumped:

"Frenzied Asian terrorises chinatown. Six people mauled. Rabies alert set to orange."