"Seven years in Australia, and that was the craziest thing I've ever seen."

Grape's famous last worlds. Quoted for truth.
Wheee~~
Haven't had a insane karaoke like that in ages. This was Sunday night, little karaoke organised for Grape's farewell. Was good because nowadays the karaokes just aren't the same. More and more they're becoming little sober get togethers where people think its an audition for "Who wants to be a popstar?".

While waiting for the room, this choice asian chick rocks up and I thought "Woohoo! This night's gonna be pretty sweet!"
Until Vic comes along and snakes an arm around her: "Hey Jim!! How you been??"
What a killjoy. Fucking wanker.

Was good because everyone got completely and utterly fucked up. It was hell. Introduced them to a game guaranteed to screw you over backwards. Basically if you lose, you get to make the drink that the next loser has to skol.
This is pretty much an ideal set up if you wanted a scenario where you have alot of cocky male asshats trying out-do one another and exact revenge.
Halfway though the karaoke and the drinks were already a mix of beer, cheap red wine, cruiser drinks, grass jelly and random assorted chips and munchies. Just having one sets off alarm bells in tastebuds and brain.
I nearly died choking on a prawn cracker.

The aftermath was nothing short of spectacular. It was like God himself came and personally shit all over the place. The place was littered with bottles, cans, munchies, ciggarettes, other random trash, not to mention the spew all over furniture, 0.5cm flooded from vomit, and outside; another person threw up in the corridor. Hilarious to re-trace the footsteps CSI style to where the red footprints run stumbling out the room, against the wall, a few backwards steps, a lil drunken dance, into the toilets, and oh-so-close *just* not making it to the bowl.
Feels so sorry for the staff.
i.e Chi-ho. Get another job you dumbass.

Near the end of the night all the other guys were competing to see who can hit the ceiling first with their spraying vomit. They all patted me on the back with their spew-stained hands, commending me on my drinking ability, all the while I'm sitting there smiling smugly, swallowing wave upon wave of vomit in my mouth.

One last note: Why is it that I seem to attract drunk girls? Why is it that when they comatose they flock to me? I blame beer goggles. I have been vomited on and drooled on so many times that I'm gonna start charging dry cleaning bills. The worst offenders are the ones that lay their heads in my lap, and if I'm lucky, I just escape with drool-vomit stains. If not, *BLEEUURGGH* and "Hellooooo fettucini boscaiola".
Bloody unreal.

You can only get away with that if I still find you attractive when you're unconscious and covered in your own filth.
Unfortunately, chances of that are still pretty good.

Jimmy needs to drink with pretty asian girls.
Apply here: Concrete_monkey@hotmail.com

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